glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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