Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize