Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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