I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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