The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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