Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize