who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
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I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
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I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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