Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize