I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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