so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize