getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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