i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
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can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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