its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize