i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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