My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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