thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize