Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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