there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize