Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
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Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
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You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize