Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize