Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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