He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Are we still banned from the library?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize