Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
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And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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