I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
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I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
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They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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