The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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