Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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