her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Come on in and take your pants off
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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