I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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