I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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