His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
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Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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