what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
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Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
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So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
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