I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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