WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
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Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
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Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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