I molested 6 butterflies tonight
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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