Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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