Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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