Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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