Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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