Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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