its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
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EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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