morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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