I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
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