i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize