I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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