Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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