The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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