we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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