ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize