it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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