Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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